Newest Greatest OK Go Music Video Treatment AKA If GOD Made Music Vids

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     Hey guys, I think we really nailed the last high concept music vid when we set all the members of the band on fire with kerosene cheerleader batons and put you out with pom-poms made of shaving foam and Cheeto dust (the ad team at Cheetos really came through for us) but this next idea I have is really gonna knock the silly-patterned socks off of whoever your audience is. Please stay with me cuz I’m gonna go fast and hard and if you don’t cling tightly to something steel-bolted to the swamp-buggy floor, you’re all gonna lose your fucking balance and fly off to Mars via mindgasm.

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     So, how about this? We fill 3000 balloons with fuck-sweat. We synchronize them to pop to every beat of the song by a different robotic seagull. All the seagulls have mortgages and are doing their taxes mid-air. We flip 180 to reveal the seagulls are being tossed like darts by every president of the united states ever, for real, the actual presidents, James Garfield, Rutherford B. Hayes, Gerald fucking Ford, you name it. In between each bird toss, the presidents kiss, but, like, we’ll organize them democrat, republican, democrat, republican, so each president is smooching someone they disagree with politically.

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     We travel across this panopticon of presidential kissies but once we pass George Washington, the four of you are dressed up in waistcoats, powdered wigs, spatterdashes, the whole get-up, and you’re in colonial Williamsburg reversing slavery. So now each of you are in 1776 via time travel (we’ll make sure to put a disclaimer at the beginning of the video so that everyone knows that it’s real, no green screen or wires, you’ve actually travelled back in time to our shameful origins to right the racial wrongs of history) and you are announcing the reformed abolition laws to the town square while physically removing the chains from slaves, re-uniting estranged families, and all the black people are just like, SO fucking grateful. Disco balls and confetti.

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     Now an angry mob of slaveowners approach but you pull their pants down. Embarrassed, they try to pull their pants back up but you’re all running in circles around em, pulling them pants down again and again. The slaveowners look at each other like “Huh???” and this becomes a dance.

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     Flip 180 back to the fuck-balloons. The seagulls used turbotax.com (possible sponsor???) so they each got a fat fucking tax return and they are rolling in delicious earthworms and sandy french fries. The seagulls start to spark and malfunction cuz remember, they’re robots, and they explode one by one in rhythm with the explosive beats of whatever sick awesome single you guys have cooked up, I haven’t listened yet, I’m sorry, I’ll get to it.

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     Now the four of you are back in the studio in modern day with goggles on, holding umbrellas. Slavery was stopped early and civil rights progressed much sooner than in the previous timeline so now you’re all black. Sequins or something shoot out of fucking cannons from the ceiling in slow motion but then fast but then slow but then fast but then regular and they hit your umbrellas I guess. You guys high-five all of the presidents and we let the camera linger for a little bit as we hear the camera crew laugh like “Ha ha, that was the one, we finally got it” cuz presumably we’ll have to do several takes to get it right. Rehearsals start Tuesday, I’ll try to be there if I’m out of the hospital by then, I’ve taken six cactus discs of mescaline and I can hear my pancreas screaming.

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