I Poemed

These tiny word turdlets AKA “poems” were featured in “The Brownstone Bustier Quarterly” as well as “Old Wooden Spoon Monthly” and “Cat Fancy”.

– – – – –

Deep Down

If someone hurts you

makes you feel wrong

makes you feel alien

if they bully you

call you names

make you feel small

just remember

always remember

that deep down inside

of the farthest left cabinet in my bedroom

is where I keep the crossbow.

– – – – –

Every Life is a Miracle

I found a baby

Does anyone want it?

Yeah me neither

– – – – –

Steven’s Pissed About It

Claude is the name of a Frenchman or a hermit crab

that’s it.

There are no other kinds of Claudes.

There are tons of Stevens

but only two Claudes

and that’s why we gave Claude the prize for best name, Steven.

He’s suffered enough.

It doesn’t matter if “Steven” is objectively better as a name.

Claude doesn’t have anything

can’t you let him have this?

Christ, it’s a “Best Name Contest”

This doesn’t even matter.

Fine

go berate the judges, Steven

I’m sure that’ll help your case

I mean honestly it’s all political

If I had my druthers

I agree

Steven is a better name.

Sorry dude

Claude’s just a cooler guy

and yeah

I know

it’s not a “Cool Guy Contest”

it’s a “Best Name Contest”

but dude

– – – – –

pie on a windowsill

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